Igrot Kodesh · Letter 2732 — Faith & Bitachon

B"H

17 Sivan 5714,
Brooklyn.

Blessing and greetings,

I am surprised not to have had your news during all this period. I want to hope that there is in this a good sign and that all is well. Nevertheless, I would be happy to read your letter confirming to me that this is effectively the case. May Hashem grant that it be so, in the largest proportion.

It is surely useless to emphasize to you that the comportment of the home and the harmony that establishes itself between a husband and a wife depend, in very large part, on the wife rather than on the husband. This is the meaning of the verse: "The wisdom of women builds their house."

The maintenance of the home is therefore based on the wisdom of the woman. This is, in particular, the case in the American mode of life, imposing on the husband a tiring work, a nervous tension, and a perpetual haste. It belongs then to the wife to establish between herself and her husband the greatest harmony, by striving to understand him.

It may seem, sometimes even rightly, that the husband could have more qualities. Nevertheless, one must say to oneself that this union was willed by Hashem, some time ago already. And, when one discovers in oneself a defect, one does not seek to make oneself suffer. Quite the contrary, one wishes to rid oneself of it in the most painless manner.

And, it must be so, and even more clearly, when this defect concerns the couple. It is difficult to know what the other has lived through, the difficulties that he has had to face during the years past. When the husband notes the gentleness of his wife and her full confidence in Hashem, he succeeds in observing the world differently, in noting that Hashem directs him, that He conducts, in particular, his home and all that surrounds it.

Thus, one can fill oneself with motivation and joy, verify that one has acted for one's own good, since one acquires in this manner inspiration and tranquility, well beyond the effort that has been consented to make a concession.

I hope that all that does not concern the relations between you and your husband, that you possess a Chassidic home as is fitting, penetrated with love of one's fellow. Our holy masters, whose merit will protect us, gave of themselves so that all Chassidic homes possess this quality.

Nevertheless, the good has no limit, and I hope that these few lines will improve and reinforce the peace and the closeness between you, so that you be, in your surroundings, an example of harmony and light.

May Hashem accord you success.

With my blessing,