Igrot Kodesh · Letter 2657 — Shidduchim

B"H

15 Iyar 5714,
Brooklyn.

Greetings and blessing,

I reply to your letter written at the conclusion of Shabbos, and, in passing, I am surprised by your effort to be only a "Chassid* of troubles" (recalling that he is a chassid* only when he has troubles), according to the expression of my father-in-law, the Rebbe. You write only when you have troubles, regrettably. Apart from that, it is excluded to have your news.

To come to your question, I emphasized to you, some time ago already, the importance of being close to the members of your community. I wrote to you on this subject and I asked you, in particular, to draw close to those who pose problems to you not by their lack of yiras Shamayim*, but, at most, by lack of knowledge. You must, by various means, seek their proximity, in order not to darken your relations.

Much more, you are the youngest, and Hashem has given you the merit of being a student of Yeshivas Lubavitch, of receiving directly several teachings of my father-in-law, the Rebbe, regarding your conduct and the necessity of loving your fellow. You must therefore, in this domain, take the initiative, take the first steps and perhaps even go beyond these first steps. Obviously, it is in no way a matter of diminishing yourself or of calling into question the honor of the Torah (of which the addressee of this letter is a scholar).

You know the story of the sage that is reported, it seems to me, by the Mivchar HaPeninim of Bedersi, explaining why the sages go to the wealthy and not the wealthy to the sages. Indeed, the wealthy, when they are not sages, do not know the value of wisdom, which is lacking to them. The sages, by contrast, know the value of wealth and know how to make good use of it. It is the same regarding what concerns you.

With my blessing for success in all that has just been said,

* * *

B"H

15 Iyar 5714,
Brooklyn.

Greetings and blessing,

I duly received your letter of Thursday of Parshas Behar.

Concerning the date of the marriage, it would be good, to the extent of the possible, that it be celebrated in a state of purity (when the bride is not niddah*). If it is possible to fix it on Rosh Chodesh*, including on the first day (although this day is the 30th of the previous month, that is, it belongs to the second half of the month, while it is preferable to fix a marriage during the first half) when there are two, it is good to do so.

Obviously, this does not apply to Rosh Chodesh* Sivan, which belongs to the period of the Omer* (during which it is forbidden to marry). It can be, by contrast, Rosh Chodesh* Tammuz or Elul. Whatever date you choose, may Hashem grant that it be in a good and fruitful moment, with mazal tov*.

With my blessing, saluting all the chassidim*, and in the expectation of your good news,